Siriusly?
by owlish quagmire
Summary: My best friend is Sirius Black. Stop drooling...I know you are. Every girl does. Well, except me. We're two peas in a pod, and peas don't drool at each other. Seriously, I don't. But recently, well, I feel like our friendship's changing, exploding in a way, and I don't know how to act. Help? "SIRIUS, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE READING THIS!"
1. Peas in a Pod

So here's my first Harry Potter story. Hope you like. Just remember, Joule is mine, but nothing else is. Also, feel free to shout out, scream, whisper, comment, or just calmly tell me something. The freedom of speech is highly enforced.

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I was bone-dead, drop-dead tired. Let's start there.

King's Cross Station was packed as usual, crammed with Hogwarts students of all ages from scared, puny first-years to arrogant, know-it-all seventh-years. Bumbling with hands full of a bulky owl cage and supplies, I yawningly stumbled through Platform 9 ¾ and arrived promptly on the other side to see the magnificent Hogwarts Express.

Lovely. Oh, how I missed its red and black engine and its comforting chugga-chugga noises.

They made my year, simply put.

Who doesn't love train sounds? Seriously?

Anyways, September 1st was always my favorite day of the year, because, well, I was muggleborn. Yeah, that's right, Dumbledore came to my door the night of my 11th birthday while I was in the middle of stuffing my face with strawberry cake and announced to my family that I was a witch, holding his official Hogwarts letter up and everything, complete in flowing purple wizard robes.

I remember spitting out my cake and hitting the family cat, Slinky. Slinky wasn't too happy with me after that; he still gives me the stink eye every now and then, years later.

So, naturally, after a whole lecture of how neither he nor anyone in my family was insane, Dumbledore gave us, the Quaids, scrawled instructions on a McDonald's napkin to Diagon Alley and was off in a poof, apparating in our very living room.

He really shouldn't have done that. My parents almost went into panic attacks, the logical people that they were. After all, doctors believe strictly in science, nothing magical, nothing supernatural. Pure logic.

I was just the exception they reluctantly accepted.

So here I was. King's Cross, seventh year Gryffindor, living the life. I always came here alone; my parents were content in dropping me off at the entrance to the station, comforted in deluding themselves that I was just taking a regular train to a regular boarding school.

Oh well. You can't win them all. Besides, Hogwarts was my second home.

"Joule!" A familiar voice shouted, and I turned around, tiredly curious. Whoever could be shouting my name this loud, I wondered sarcastically.

And yes. My name was Joule, like the unit of force.

I had doctors for parents. Need I explain more? I'm just lucky I didn't end up with Quotient or Meter.

A blur of messy black hair tackled me and pulled me into a big hug. I gasped, almost suffocating from my friend's grip; he needed to learn some restraint.

"Heh…" I breathed hesitantly. "Okay…James, you can let me go now….That's enough…James!" This getting oxygen thing was becoming harder and harder or each second the breath was pushed out of my lungs.

This boy needed some major control issues.

James Potter, aka one of my best friends, let go of me immediately, grinning bashfully. "Sorry, Joule, just got carried away since I haven't seen you in, you know, SIX HOURS! So much has happened since you left the house, seeing as this year is now going to be epic."

I raised an eyebrow. "What could have possibly happened in the last six hours I was gone? You confessed your love to Sirius, no wait…you did a role play pretending Sirius was Lily?"

"No." He frowned, but quickly recovered his bright attitude. "This afternoon I got another letter from Hogwarts. I'm Head Boy!" James puffed out his chest like a proud rooster.

"What?!" I eyed him suspiciously. "Is this a joke?"

"Nope." James said, popping the 'p'. "And it gets even better. Guess who's Head Girl?"

"Lily." I groaned, clutching my forehead. I could only imagine the amount of fights they'd have would increase dramatically this year. And that was hard to believe. It gave me a headache almost just thinking about it. "Oh, God."

"Oh, God is right." James was practically lit up like a light. "This is my chance, Joule, my chance to show Lily how mature and awesome I am and how perfect we are together. We get to patrol together almost every day; this has to be a sign."

"Do you even hear yourself?" I rolled my eyes at his exuberance, giving him a simpering smile. "Try your best, but Lily will do as Lily does."

"Don't be so negative." He kept that darn hopeful expression on his face at full blast. It seemed to be the reason why his hair stood up at all angles all the time. "Things are looking up this year; after all, we are the oldest now. We'll put those first years in their places, those little brats."

"I know, I know." I waved him off. "It's the tiredness talking. Sirius and I stayed up way too late last night."

James gave me a secretive smile, toning down his enthusiasm for a second. "Oh, did you? I didn't notice since I went to bed at a normal time, like midnight."

"Shut up." I grunted, fake-punching his shoulder to which he appropriately groaned to. "Don't you have your Head Boy duties to attend to or something? Maybe like bugging Lily?"

"Right. I do." He straightened up, brushing invisible lint off of his sweater. He even smoothed down his hair, as if that could possibly tame it. "How do I look?"

"Beautiful." I drawled, feeling very drained all of a sudden. "Now go find your ginger victim."

"Beautiful is what you say to girls." James pouted, checking his watch. "I'm handsome."

"Whatever you say, Jamie." I winked at him, walking away towards the train. "You're always a girl to me."

Hearing James's retorts shouted out from behind me, I smiled to myself and threw my entire luggage onboard, taking care to put Newton and his cage in a safe place.

And yes. I named my big, gray owl Newton. I figured he should have to suffer from a science name like me, so we could bond more.

I liked to think that my plan was working. We were pretty tight, me and my owl.

Yawning again, I shuffled through the corridor of the Hogwarts Express, peering into compartment after compartment to find my dearest friends. After about twenty, I found the lucky one near the back of the train, spotting a distinct head of long, black hair through the window.

"Surprise, surprise." I murmured as I closed the compartment door behind me. Sirius was leaning his silky black head against the wall, his eyes closed and peaceful. He was probably as fatigued as I was.

Without a thought, I sat down next to him and leaned my head on his shoulder, getting my own rest. He had a very comfy shoulder. I had to utilize it.

"You too, huh?" His voice was gravelly from sleep, his eyes still closed.

"Exhausted." I agreed, not opening my eyes either. "I'm never doing that again, especially not the day before we go back to school."

"What can I say?" I could practically hear the smirk in his voice. "I have stamina."

I snorted, shifting my head into a more comfortable position. "As I remember, I was the one with stamina. You were the one complaining and whining of how late it was getting, remember?"

"Details, details." Sirius rolled his shoulder and nearly knocked me off of my headrest.

I planted my head firmly in its place. "Those pesky details included me winning, if I remember correctly. I didn't just play an eight hour game of Wizard's Chess just to lose, you know?"

"I remember." He said deeply. "Though I still don't know how that even happened. I grew up playing the game practically from birth, whereas you just learned it a few weeks ago."

"I studied the official manual." I yawned loudly. "Front to back. I really wanted to beat you."

Sirius hummed in understanding and rolled his shoulders again, as if in relaxing them.

"Stop that." I groaned. "I can't sleep if my pillow keeps moving, dimwit."

"Someone's a little feisty right now, aren't they?"

"Just when I'm tired." I yawned again, feeling like a fish with my big mouth gulping for air.

How attractive.

"What lies."

"Sirius…seriously." I growled. "Shut up."

Chuckling, he guided my head down from his shoulder into his lap, which, in fact, was a whole hell of a lot more accommodating. My eyes drooped close again, and I felt the pull of sleep stronger than ever. Sirius's familiar scent was all around me: musky, woodsy, with a little bit of pepper. Unconsciousness almost had me.

"Joule, Joule." Sirius whispered, perching his hand on my hip and rubbed it soothingly. I felt his thumb stroking circles into my hipbone. "Go to sleep."

And I did.

For a period of time.

Until I was rudely awakened.

By a spitball.

Grrr.

My eyes snapped open the second I felt the slimy missile lodge inside my thick brown hair, and I knew instantly that there would be revenge. Looking at the seats across from me, I saw an amused Remus and a guilty looking Peter Pettigrew.

"Peter," I growled, sitting up slowly. "What exactly do you think you're doing?"

The smaller tawny-haired boy (though still taller than my height of 5'2") gave me a sheepish yet mischievous smile. "Whatever do you mean, Joule?" He held his hands up in the air innocently.

I gave him a discerning look. "I'm getting you back for this, you know. You have no idea how hard it is to deal with this hair of mine in the first place, even without your spit inside of it."

"Now, now." Sirius mocked from next to me. "Don't be a sore loser. We're all pranksters here, and Peter has just scored a point for the team. You should probably congratulate that he's actually pulled one on you, love."

I turned my stare to Sirius, raising an eyebrow in consideration. "Hmm, I suppose I'll have to include you in the revenge too then."

In return, he gave me a devious smirk. "You can try."

I gave him a smirk in return. It was one of our favorite games to one-up each other.

Turning, I shifted my gaze to a lanky Remus who sat there with a large book in his hands. "You too, mister. I'm not forgetting your lovely mug either; you were involved too."

Remus rolled his eyes at me, shaking out his shaggy sandy hair. "If you count involved as sitting here reading _Hogwarts: A History_, I suppose I am deeply guilty. Arrest me now, officer." He put his hands out for me to cuff.

I liked Remus. Not like liked, just liked. He got my muggle references in the group since he was a halfblood, and we regularly used them in the group to confuse Sirius, James, and Peter. Sometimes being a pureblood was such a disadvantage.

Inside jokes were the best.

"I suppose I will, dear Remus." I got up dramatically, clamping my hands over Remus's wrists as if they were handcuffs. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you-" Remus started laughing at my serious tone and our inside muggle joke, revealing slightly pointed canines.

Staring, I wondered if they were like that before he was bitten by a werewolf. They looked quite sharp, sharp enough to break skin. Hmm…

A barking cough came from Sirius as he yanked me back by one of my belt loops, pulling me back into my original seat beside him. I frowned, a little ticked off that he took me away from my fun. Didn't he just say to embrace the fun, carefree prankster attitude?

He coughed a little softer this time, averting his gray eyes from mine. "No need to start spouting gibberish to us. We know you're desperate for attention, but you don't have to broadcast it, love."

Oh, two could play at this game.

"But I'm oh-so lonely." I pouted, twisting some of my hair around my finger. And yes, the sarcasm was laid on _thick._ "I don't have _any_ friends, and I was just hoping maybe one of you fine lads might take me up on the offer. I…I'll even pay you if you want."

Glancing underneath my eyelashes, I observed an impressed and amused Sirius, his mouth turned into a half-smirk, half-smile. His face always got this way when I dished back to him exactly what he served. To my side, I heard Remus snickering under his breath and a blinking Peter.

"I'm your friend, Joule!" Peter exclaimed, the level of sarcasm going straight over his head. "I'm here for you!"

I tried to hide my smile as Remus attempted to explain how it was all a ruse to poor, little, confused Peter. He was the most naïve of us all, but we all loved him for it. I personally considered him the Bambi of our group.

"So?" I bit my lip faux-nervously as I looked up at Sirius. "Will you be my friend?"

Sirius simply looked at me, the edges of his lips pulled up, and opened his mouth to answer, but was startlingly cut off by a loud bang of the compartment door. He blinked, staring at me, lost for words.

"Joule!" A shrill voice screeched from the doorway in the form of a certain redheaded Gryffindor girl. "How dare you not come see me! I haven't seen you all summer, you wench! I didn't even know if you made it on the train, no less!"

"Lily! My savior!" I jumped up and dove into her arms, giving her a bear hug. It was time for the dramatics. "Take me away from these people. No one wants me here!"

Lily's eyes widened and she played along, holding me tighter. She could tune into my wavelengths of thought anytime, anyplace. Lily was just that perceptive. Well, and she knew me…scarily well. That might factor in too.

"No one?" She gasped. "No one wants you at all? You poor girl!"

"I want you!" Peter stood up and declared, indignant. Apparently Remus hadn't gotten through to him, judging by the young werewolf's pained expression and hand to his face.

"Peter, would you shut the hell up?" Sirius snapped. "It's just a joke for Merlin's sake. Keep up."

Peter blinked, very disoriented at the turn in the conversation. "But I want Joule."

Sirius growled lowly, glaring at little Peter. "Could you stop saying that? You sound like an idiot."

"Why?" Peter scratched his thin head of hair, deep in thought. Sirius looked like he was about to blow a fuse, he was so worked up.

Lily and I, on the other hand, were attempting to stifle the giggles that almost poured out of us in streams of hilarity. It was always fun to play and wreak havoc with the boys. Lily got along with all of them, excepting James, of course, which made every outing difficult to endure.

"Because, Peter." Sirius morphed into his dramatic mode as well, as he elegantly stood up and gently detached me from Lily. His arms wrapped around me like cables from behind me, binding us together, and his head settled on top of mine. I could almost feel the vicious smirk that stretched across his lips. "She's mine. I was friends with her first."

"Oh." Peter said, wilting underneath Sirius's stare as if that declaration had explained it all. He sat back down very meekly.

"She's mine too." Lily stared hard at Sirius, quirking one of her own brows. "I only met her a few hours later, after all."

And it was true. I'd met Lily when we'd gone to our dormitories for the first time as first years, but I'd met Sirius on the train. He had been my first real wizarding friend, a pureblood, no less. It definitely caused us to puzzle each other with our alternative styles of upbringing, but somehow our friendship worked.

Sirius, in turn, kept his malicious, smooth smirk on for Lily. "Finder's keeper's, Lily. Maybe you should go search out James now, and then you can have someone."

Lily's emerald green eyes narrowed, and I could practically see her Gryffindor temper flare up. I saw Remus and Peter both flinch from the corner of my eye; even they knew Lily's limits, and those limits began at James.

Oooh, that was _so_ the wrong thing to say.

"You know," I enunciated loudly to distract from the awkwardness of the situation. "One might find it strange and somewhat awkward to be claimed by friends. I am a person, you know, and not a…um, pocket watch. We might need to work on our ways of expressing ourselves, people."

"I think I express myself brilliantly, if I do say so myself." Sirius's voice echoed through my body we were so tightly squeezed together. "The rest of you lot, however, might need some work."

"How humble of you." Remus commented from his seat, his attention mainly focused on his book that he had out before.

"Yes," Lily hissed, looking positively rabid. "How nice it must be to consider yourself perfect and above everyone else. Your ego must be larger than your brain."

Sirius tensed behind me, and I could practically feel a retort bubbling from within him. I needed to avert this situation; I hated it when my friends fought, especially when it was between my two best friends.

"Lily!" I shouted, and everyone's eyes turned to me, focusing on me.

Oops.

I should have thought about this plan beforehand. Oh well…

"Let's go change into our robes." I suggested, cocking my head towards the compartment door. It seemed like the best excuse to get her out of there. She and I needed some girl time.

She stared at me hard, knowing what I was up to. "But—"

"But nothing." I gave her a tight-lipped smile. "Let's go, Lils. Get some space from these boys, yeah?"

Lily gave me a nod, agreeing with my sentiments, and flipped her red hair over her shoulder. Sirius and I weren't the only ones with a dramatic side, you know. We all had our attitudes. Lily strode out of the room, eager to get away from the testosterone.

Sighing, I turned around in Sirius's arms and looked him in the eye. I tapped on his chest with my pointer finger.

"Behave yourself." I said in my sternest voice possible. I had to tilt my head a ways up just to see him eye to eye this close.

"Why?" He tightened his arms which were now around my waist, and it squished us even closer together. He was pretty warm, radiating heat into me. "Good behavior is overrated. It's predictable."

"You don't play well with others." I countered. "You might want to tone it down a bit."

"I play well with you." He said lowly, and his gray eyes seemed to darken.

"Naturally." I said flippantly, ignoring the odd fluttery feeling in my stomach. Where had that come from? "We're just two peas in a pod, but everyone else can't share our pod, so you have to be nicer sometimes. It's life."

"I suppose." He sighed heavily and exaggeratedly. "But I think everyone should compensate for our pod of awesomeness. We are just that better, of course."

"You're impossible." I rolled my eyes and flicked his nose. Somehow I manage to squirm out of his arms and head towards the door. "Try to survive without me, idiot."

He smirked cheekily. "What did you say your name was again?"

Laughing, I flipped him the bird on the way out.


	2. Deal me in

Hello, hello, hello! Just reminding you that Joule is mine, but nothing else belongs to me. So feel free to holler, mutter, whisper, scream, shout, comment, or roar at me about anything, anything at all. The freedom of speech is highly enforced here.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Nom, nom, nom. That's the sound my mouth was making right now.

I really liked breakfast, no, scratch that, I really adored breakfast. Breakfast, after all, is one of the most important meals of the day. It starts your metabolism, makes you feel better in general, and bombards your senses with delicious, mouthwatering foods, etc. etc.

This is why I was currently stuffing my mouth with pancakes by the dozen.

Okay, so I was only on my third, but I was on my way to a dozen. Maybe.

Now a dozen pancakes just sounds like too much.

Thanks for that.

Okay, and so maybe I had an ulterior motive too, you got me. I was eating to distract myself from the disgusting image of my best friend sucking face with a well-known sleazy Hufflepuff by the name of Patricia Wayne.

Yes, they do exist. Sleazy Hufflepuffs, I mean. They're not all innocent, hard-working puffballs if you know what I mean. I'm thinking some of them should have gone into Slytherin at this rate…

And yeah, her last name was also Wayne, which really had me comparing her to Bruce Wayne and John Wayne, both of which were very manly men. Which she was not.

It was a little awkward.

Anyways, so…Sirius sucking face with Trisha. That's what you could call her if you two were on 'friendly' terms.

Ick.

I didn't have any problem with Sirius dating; I just didn't like the people he chose. And how they acted in public.

It was all so touchy-feely, kiss-kiss, take-me-now attitude which frankly made everyone in the twenty foot vicinity want to barf their heads off. Sirius really needed to work on the concept of subtly.

Seriously. Or dare I say siriusly.

Kill me now, these puns are going to eat me alive.

"Sirius…" I groaned, banging my head against the Gryffindor table in despair. "Could you _possibly _take your hedonistic tendencies behind closed doors and not scald everyone's eyes for once?"

Remus and Peter nodded with me in agreement, both wincing from the blatant show of exuberant affection at the table. Remus, the poor wolf, was doing his classic hand-over-eyes position, occasionally sipping pumpkin juice to block his view. Peter just kept on a faintly disturbed expression but couldn't look away, like it was a car crash. James and Lily were absent from the table because they had Head duties. Lucky them.

I can only imagine how wonderful that's going…

"I agree." Remus backed me up. "You two might want to remember that there are other people here, eating no less."

"Hold on." Sirius smooched his new flavor of the day a couple more times. He stopped to curl some of the Hufflepuff's hair behind her ear. "Okay, darling, that's it. It was good while it lasted, yeah?"

Trisha looked up at him with lovesick eyes. Her blonde hair was mussed and her lips a very vibrant red, mostly likely caused by excessive lipstick and kissing. "How about we continue this for a few more hours, Siri?"

Sirius flinched at the pet name, and I snorted aloud, knowing his hatred of all nicknames. And 'Siri' just happened to be at the top of that hate list. I'd listened to hours of his whining about the name Siri and how it sounded idiotic and un-masculine; it was one of his biggest pet peeves.

Shooting me a look, Sirius turned back to Trisha. "Nah, you're not that good, sweetheart. Besides, we had a deal, didn't we? We can't break that."

"You could teach me?" Trisha refused to give up and lose the marvelous man called Sirius Black. Now she was just getting desperate, seeing as he was so able and ready to cut her loose.

I shoved some pancakes into my mouth so I wouldn't burst out laughing hysterically. Such were the problems of me.

"Look, Trisha, here's the truth." Sirius started in an ironically serious voice, holding her hands. "I'm not the right bloke for you, and you're not the right girl for me. Now, we can keep doing this _thing_ for however long, but it's not going to change the end result, sweetheart. We're wasting our time here, and I'm trying to help you move forward. There are people out there that need us, and you and I are just delaying that fact. That's the hard truth."

Trisha wiped her tearless eyes, looking stunned. "You're right. Oh my Merlin, you're right, Siri. We have to get to those people."

"That's right." He nodded his head sagely. "And in order to do that, we have to break up."

"Thank you, thank you!" She jumped at him, hugging him with sharp, red nails. "It all makes sense now! I'm going to find my perfect guy, and you're going to find your perfect girl, and we are so going to have a dinner date! Promise?"

"Promise." He grinned, ruffling his dark hair. "Now, go find him, darling."

And with a kiss on his cheek, she was gone, practically rushing over to the Hufflepuff table, her mind gushing with information and determination of true love.

I spat out my pancakes onto my plate. "Are you kidding me? Are you freaking serious? That's how you manage to break up with all of your bimbos? With promises of true love and dinner dates? You're a piece of work."

"Actually," Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. "That time was an exception. I meant what I said; I was serious, Joule."

"Yeah," I snickered. "I know what your name is, dimwit. I just can't believe your tactics."

Sirius rolled his eyes at me. "She's the last girlfriend I'm going to have in a while. I had to end it prettily. What would everyone else in the entire school say?" He ended in a childish voice.

"What? Why?" I looked at him weirdly then put my hand to forehead, scraping some of his hair out of the way to feel his temperature. "Merlin, did she give you syphilis? What's wrong with you? Sirius Black does not give up girls, I tell you!"

"Sirius Black isn't _giving up girls_." Sirius mimicked me, absently pulling a piece of pancake out of my hair. "Sirius Black is taking a break from dating pointless girls he's not interested in."

"Then why were you even dating them in the first place?" I wondered aloud, munching on more pancake. They were absurdly good. Peter snickered from the other side of the table.

Sirius gave me a sly smirk, his eyes glittering. "Do you really need to ask?"

"Oh. Right." I said, mouth still full of pancake. "Boys are stupid. I almost forgot; I must hang out with you guys too often."

"You wound with your stereotypes." Sirius gasped, clutching his chest. He then proceeded to sling an arm around my shoulder and hug me close. "I thought you loved us, Jou-jou. I thought we were family."

"Don't call me that, Siri." I hissed, squirming in his arms. However, he was in one of his stubborn moods and refused to let me go. "You're no brother of mine!"

"Good." He murmured into my hair. "I had no intention of ever being one."

For some reason, this caused that weird feeling my stomach again, and I immediately wanted it to stop. It just felt…odd. Different from usual. Strange.

So I pinched him bruisingly hard. And he let me go, yowling.

The weird feeling went away. Thank Merlin.

"Dammit, Joule!" He rubbed his arm poutingly. "What the hell was that for?"

"You wouldn't let go." I replied coolly. "Duh."

Remus chuckled audibly, and we both turned to see him in full amusement mode. This was a rare feat, seeing as he was either tired to death from being a werewolf or too involved in a book or classwork. "You two are idiots, did you know that?"

"I prefer to call myself a genius." Sirius sniffed haughtily.

I laughed. "And I prefer to call you special."

That one earned me a glare.

"Joule, thank Merlin." Lily huffed up to me in a tizzy, her red hair a little frizzy. "I need a break from the _hour _I've been patrolling with _Potter_. I nearly lost it."

"Lost it?" James came up from behind her and joined us at the table, grinning from the time he'd been able to get with his true love. "Lost what, Lily-flower? Your flower? Did you just say that I came this close to popping your cherry?" James looked too excited to be described, too frantic.

Sirius and I had on very disgusted faces. The idea disturbed us both deeply.

"NO!" Lily roared and turned beet red at this notion. "You're such a prat, Potter! To actually think that I could think that, you perverted swine! You're incorrigible! I am two seconds away from hexing your face into a blubbering mass of gillyweed if you don't get out of my sight!"

"Ah, but Lily…" James smiled dreamily. "I'm already under your spell." Lily gagged at this.

"And on that note," Sirius got up from his seat. "I think I'll be leaving."

"I think I'll join you actually." Remus shut his book decisively.

Peter looked excited for the first time tonight. He could handle only so much awkwardness, and I completely understood. "Me too."

"Joule?" Sirius looked down at me expectedly, his gray eyes boring into my own hazel ones.

"Nah." I glanced at Lily who gave me a grateful expression. "I think somebody needs to keep an eye on these two to make sure they don't kill each other yet. I'll catch up later."

"Suit yourself." Sirius shrugged and ruffled my hair with his long fingers, messing up my lovely wavy hair. He chuckled at my petulant expression. "Later, love."

"Jerk." I muttered, stabbing another pancake. I just couldn't get enough.

-0-0-0-0-0-

"So, tell me," Lily said as she painted her nails in her four-poster bed. The first day of class was finally over, and we'd all survived successfully in one piece. "How was your summer? We haven't really gotten time to talk lately."

"It was good." I watched her paint her thumbnail a gold color that shimmered even in the dim lighting. "Spending a month in the Potter household is like a circus every day, especially with Sirius living there now. But it was super fun. How about you?"

"Oh, no, no, no!" She held her nail polish brush up threateningly at me. "I'm not done with you yet, missy. I want details. You spent the summer with two Marauders. Spill."

"Like what?" I gave her a strange look. "Like the color of James's boxers, or did you want to know what brand of toothpaste he uses? It's Colgate, by the way."

I knew this particular fact, because I actually forgot to bring toothpaste. Oops. So, yes, James did in fact use the lovely brand of Colgate to clean his shiny whites. He said the Muggle brands worked the best. I approved.

Lily gave me an unimpressed look. "Very funny, Joule. Like I care what Potter uses; he can go wear garbage for all I care. What did you guys do for the whole month?"

"Um…have a blast? Play lots of pranks? Quidditch? Uh, I introduced them to movies, and we had a couple marathons?"

"Hmm." She said, still painting her nails diligently without any polish going to waste. "Any…romantic developments?"

I blinked. "What?"

What the hell was she talking about?

Sighing, Lily switched to a red polish, just to be as Gryffindor as possible. "You know, like kissing? Snogging?"

"With _who_?"

"Never mind. Forget I said anything." She glanced away, noting the clock's time. It was about an hour until lights out. "We're going to work on your love life this year, my little Joule."

I laughed. "Look who's talking; no one's asked you out since James became obsessed with you three years ago. You might as well go out with him just to him over it at least."

"At least I've been on a date." Lily countered. "And ew. As if I'd ever think of going out with James. He's just so…immature. Besides, I can get around James. You, on the other hand, need to get around Sirius."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I frowned. What on earth was she talking about? Getting around Sirius? For what?

"He's so overprotective of you, it's insane. He's the reason why other guys won't ever approach you; because you're always with him!" Lily explained. "Just make yourself a little more accessible to everyone else, and you'll have dates lined up like crazy."

I didn't like this line of thought. At all.

"If people have a problem with Sirius being my best friend, they can go suck it." I scowled angrily. If you messed with Sirius, you messed with me. And vice versa. "It's their fault for being cowards in the first place."

Lily sighed and came over to hug me. "I'm sorry." She said into my shoulder, her red hair mixing into my dark brown. "I didn't mean to upset you, I just want you to live a little more. You're stuck with the boys all the time, and you never date. I want you to find someone that makes you happy."

"But I am happy, Lils." I looked at her questioning. "You guys are my family. What more could I want? If anything, I just want you to be happy too."

She smiled. "Thanks. And me too. I'll find my perfect guy as soon as I get Potter off my back."

After much giggling, more nail painting, a brief pillow fight, and a tongue twister war, we were back on track, Lily and I. It was amazing what a girl's night could do. Especially when one hangs out with testosterone-driven boys for the majority of the time.

"Hey, Lily," I whispered. We were both collapsed on my bed in a heap after the final pillow fight. "I think you should give James a chance. He's really not as bad as you make him out to be."

"Why?" She asked, calm from the aftermath. I was partly amazed that she wasn't overreacting at my questions about James and her. It seemed to be a miracle of a night.

"Well, he's a pretty decent guy. I mean, he's friends with me, so that has to mean something, right? I don't choose crappy people to be friends with."

"No, you don't." She bit her lip in agreement.

I had to seize this moment like a prairie dog. It was a one-time opportunity. Like one of those sale ads in the newspaper.

"And he likes you." I continued cautiously. If I wasn't careful, I could get eaten alive.

"Allegedly."

"And you like him." I finished quickly. I thought my argument was quite brilliant. Why would two people that liked each other not be together?

Lily arched an eyebrow at me. "And why would you think that exactly?"

"Lily, please. In fourth year, your diary was practically laying open on your bed, and you had 'Mrs. Potter' scribbled all over the pages in bold ink. And I know your feelings don't change that easily."

Lily gnawed on her lip some more, and she slowly turned red enough to match her hair. "Let's just say in a hypothetical situation that I do. So what?"

"So what?" I turned my head to face her. "If you like someone and if you definitely know they like you back, what are you waiting for? Why the big outbursts in the Great Hall? Why the yelling and the screaming of frustration?"

Lily was silent for a while. "Pride." She finally murmured. "I'm too proud to admit that all those years I was wrong in rejecting James, just to go around and become his girlfriend. It's just complicated."

"Hmmm…" I thought pensively, thinking of way to make all of this work out. A thought niggled in my mind insistently. "How about we make a deal, dearest Lily flower?"

"What type of deal?" She was suspicious of me. It was only natural, of course. I was a very suspicious and shady character. You better…

WATCH OUT!

Ha, I got you, didn't I?

"If you ask out James tomorrow on a date," I started. "I'll find myself a date of my own by the end of the week, proving to you that I can have a competent love life. Capeche?"

Lily looked nervous. "Can I say it was a dare? Just so I'm not out of the blue asking him to go to Hogsmeade with me? I'll still give him a legitimate chance, I promise."

"Yeah, that's fine." I smiled giddily. "James won't care either way. He'll be too ensconced in Lily dreamland to do much else thinking."

"Ew." She stuck her tongue out at me. "That was a little pervy, Joule. I don't want to know what Potter dreams about."

"Get used to the idea." I shot back. "Oh, yeah, and you have to call him 'James' the whole day, missy. None of this 'Potter' deal."

"Fine. But you _have _to find a date by Friday. Or else, I bail."

"Chicken."

"Wench."

"Harlot."

"Slut."

"Bitch."

"Ooo, jerkette."

"Wow, really? Jerkette, Lily? I thought you were better than that. That's just weak." I snickered at her face.

"Okay, let's shake on it." Lily held out one of her very pale hands, as all gingers have. They tend to roast easily in the sun from what my observations have concluded. Maybe their race is an offshoot of albinism. Or aliens.

I, in turn, held out my own substantially tanner hand, and we shook on it. Literally.

Nothing's more authentic and contractual than an official handshake.

"Oh, man." I face-palmed myself. "We didn't spit. You always need to spit in your hand and _then_ shake on it. I totally forgot."

"I think we can afford to skip that part." Lily said, clearly grossed out. "Where in Merlin's name did you even learn to do that?"

"Sirius." I blinked. "It's how we always make deals."

"Why am I even surprised?"


	3. Black Encounters

Hello readers! I own Joule, nothing else. Feel free to scream, shout, whisper, comment, yell, holler, review, or say something! The freedom of speech is highly enforced. Feedback is so very _nice_!

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So all I had to do was find a date before Friday.

No big. I mean, that couldn't be too hard. Right?

It was just a simple date?

Eh?

"Lily," I hissed at her across the table in Potions class. "How do I do this? How do I get a date? Where do I start? This is hard…"

She scoffed at me, putting her red hair into a ponytail for safety precautions. "Just scope someone out that you like or that looks attractive to you, and just ask them out, dork. It's not hard at all. Just be normal."

"But I'm not normal!" I whined, glancing around the room. "I'm weird and somewhat awkward."

"Then use it to your advantage. You're witty, pretty, and awesome; who wouldn't want you?" Lily added some ingredients to our cauldron. We were supposed to be making a Calming Drought, apparently a very difficult potion to brew. That's why I let Lily take charge on this one; she was the bomb at potion-making, and Slughorn loved her like a second daughter.

Win-win.

"Suck it up, Joule, and stick with the plan. We made a deal." Lily chimed, adding lots of newt tails at the moment. Ew. I hate newt. "And don't be a chicken either."

Okay, so it was a win-lose.

Pensive, I scanned our class of Newt-level potions students; there weren't too many. James and Sirius were at the table behind us, messing around; they'd somehow managed to get good enough O.W.L.s to get in here, after all, they wanted to be Aurors. Merlin knows how they even knew how to brew a decent potion.

Severus Snape, Lily's Slytherin ex-friend and now-enemy sat to the left of us paired with a Ravenclaw girl named Leila Bones, both of whom were excellent at mixing odds and ends into cauldrons. No interest at that table.

To the right of us was Remus paired with a Hufflepuff boy by the name of Amos Diggory, who was very presumptuous. I didn't like him, Amos, because he was always bragging about how he toiled in the traditional Hufflepuff way and almost always scored well on exams. He was annoying. I didn't know personally how Remus could even stand to be with his ego.

Then again, I suppose Remus would've had practice since hanging around Sirius and James required some…patience.

Finally, the table in front of us was composed of two seventh year boys, one in Gryffindor and one in Ravenclaw. Leo Carmichael, the Ravenclaw, had short blonde hair with brown eyes, and he was coincidentally a Chaser that I'd beaten quite a few times on the field. I mean, Gryffindor always was the superior team; I'd been a Beater on it for the past five years. He was a decent guy.

The other boy at the table was Gavin Delfino, a fellow Gryffindor of mine that was known as a loudmouth in class and was, ironically, the Quidditch commentator in the stands. He had messy brown hair with bright blue eyes that many girls said twinkled like sapphires. Gavin was almost as popular as Sirius was with the ladies of Hogwarts.

They seemed like good options for possible dates, these two potions partners.

The argument in my head about the two of them went like this:

Me: Leo's pretty cute…

Me: But so is Gavin! Those eyes!

Me: Oh, please. Gavin isn't even athletic; you need someone who can keep up with you.

Me: But I think he's witty…right?

Me: But Leo's handsome and decent! How can you get better than that?

Me: Gavin is funny! Did you hear that joke he made in the common room last night? Plus, he's a Gryffindor!

Me: It doesn't matter what house he's in! Nothing's wrong with Ravenclaw. They're smarties. Leo is a smartie, and I'm relatively smart too.

Me: Seriously? Baby. Blue. Eyes.

Me: You are so superficial, it's not even funny.

Me: And you're so judgmental. By the way, I forgot to laugh.

Me: That doesn't even make sense…

Me: Your face doesn't make any sense! Did a troll construct it in the dark or something?

Me: MY FACE IS YOUR FACE!

"Hmmm…" I rubbed my chin thoughtfully, staring at the backs of their respective heads. Both blonde and brunette worked diligently. "Decisions, decisions."

"What are you doing?" A husky familiar voice whispered by my ear. Startled, I swung around to face a smirking Sirius whom was sporting some serious bedhead. And somehow still managed to pull it off. Damn him.

I knew Sirius could smell a lie a mile away; after all, he was born into a family of lies, but I wasn't going to let that stop me. Never.

"Nothing." I said quickly, being sure to blink innocently. "Just letting Lily make the potion so I don't screw it up."

"Liar." He sang quietly, taking a step towards me so we only stood a couple feet apart. "You were looking at those two up there, _gazing_ at them practically. Five minutes straight, I even timed you. Does little Joule have a wittle crush?"

Agh! I couldn't let Sirius find out about the deal Lily and I made; the whole point was that I could find myself a date on my own to show that I was independent and blah, blah, blah, not being interfered with by Sirius. Oh, the complexity…

Best to go with sarcasm.

"You got me." I shook my head theatrically, holding up my hands. "Dammit, Sirius, I didn't want to expose you to the deviousness of my mind but… The truth is that I've had the long held notion to have a threesome with Leo and Gavin. What can I say?"

Why did my mouth say that? Why? _Why_? I just wanted to say something snappy and come-back-ish, but what the hell just came out?!

A wide grin slowly grew on Sirius's face as he regarded me in my obvious falsehood; I was, after all, staring at him with an 'oh-shit' look on my face. I sensed the tables were about to turn, and that I was about to pay. Just a feeling.

"Oi!" Sirius barked, still holding my gaze with a twinkle in his eyes. "Carmichael, Delfino! Did you hear that? Joule, here, apparently wants to have a ménage a trois with you blokes; she wants to do the dirty with both of you!"

Oh. Shit.

Shiiiiiiiiit.

I was screwed.

Both Leo and Gavin turned to face me, each expressing shock, mystification, confusion, consideration, and then slow appreciation in that exact order. Odd, but it was like their faces mimicked each other's. Maybe they were clones.

Or just men.

Great. I could almost feel them undressing me with their eyes and imagining the scenario.

Gross. Double gross. No, triple gross.

"I hate you." I muttered under my breath, grimacing internally. Externally, I kept on a smile, because I know the world would rather have a smiling, happy-appearing Joule than a scowling, bitch-I'm-going-to-kill-you-and-all-your-children Joule. Just a personal opinion.

Sirius smiled wickedly. "That's what you get for not answering the question, love."

Time to clean this up…somehow. I couldn't leave this situation in shambles. And when I say in shambles, I mean people thinking that I want to have a threesome in Potions class. No offense, but it's kind of trashy.

"Sorry about that!" I yelled to my two 'threesome' boys, suddenly launching myself into Sirius's rock-hard chest. Smiling patronizingly, I clung onto him and stroked his abdomen possessively while simultaneously, unintentionally feeling him up. "He gets jealous and irrational when he sees me looking at other guys. It's hilarious what actually comes out of his mouth when he gets worked up enough, right, baby?"

I peeked up to see Sirius's reaction, expecting amusement or denial to sabotage my newborn plan perhaps, but I observed something very, very different. Sirius was frozen, his gaze fixed on my hand relentlessly stroking his abdominal muscles, and it was then that I realized that those muscles were flexing under my touch.

Pulsing, almost. I couldn't stop my hand from moving; it just continued its cyclical movement of running down the ridges and crevices of his stomach and back up again. It was like I was in a trance.

Staring at my hand in disbelief, my gaze soon shifted upwards to me Sirius's own. His gray eyes burned into mine, silently communicating something to me, branding something into me. I couldn't look away; we were both locked in place.

"Soo…" Gavin squinted his eyes at us, while Leo watched in the background. "Are you guys together or something?"

That jerked me out of my so-called gypsy trance. Oh, hell yes it did.

"No!" I jumped out of Sirius's arms faster than a jackalope in a desert storm. "Of course not. We're just friends."

Looking ruffled and disoriented for once, Sirius shot me a sharp look which I didn't understand. I gave him a confused look in return to which he answered with a blank stare.

The male sex is so confusing. Maybe they all need to relocate to Mars. Then they can be all male-ish and masculine and manly together. _That's_ not suggestive at all.

"Okay then…Because that makes sense..." Gavin muttered, then turned back to his station. Leo glanced curiously at us, and then thankfully went back to potion making as well. Thank Merlin that blew over.

Fidgeting, I ran back over to Lily without a backward glance at Sirius, and I arrived just in time to help her turn in our finished potion. Thankfully, class was almost over, and I wouldn't have to talk or be awkward with Sirius anymore. I needed to avoid him ASAP.

"What was _that_ earlier? With you and Sirius?" Lily whispered under her breath as we handed our Calming Drought to Slughorn. He grinned creepily at Lily in return with a slight nod to me. Ick.

"Nothing." I murmured, gathering all my books together in my bag as quickly as I could. "Just a stupid prank, that's all. Look, I'll see you at dinner, yeah? Okay, later." And with that, I scurried away like the Gryffindor that I was to get the hell away from my best friend and to go find a date.

Hey, I could multitask.

This multitasking prevented me from thinking about what just happened there in the Potions room; it prevented me from stewing over it, freaking out about it, pantomiming random gestures of frustration, etc. As I powerwalked away to my next class and multitasked in my head, it seemed like I didn't look where I was going. I was a little busy in my mind. Apparently.

Because I ran into someone. Literally. Into their body. Bam.

And, of course, since they were bigger and taller than me, they almost felt like a wall.

But I still knew they were a person. Hopefully. Hopefully I didn't just run into one of those albino alien things like Lily is.

"Well, well, well." A haughty voice sounded in my ear. "Look what we have here. My brother's Mudblood, what a surprise."

"Regulus." I replied nonchalantly, stepping back to observe Sirius's Slytherin little brother in the eye. He was now just as tall as Sirius was and just as aristocratic. "I see you've been eating your prejudice Wheaties; they've done wonders for you. I remember when you were such a little tyke, all tiny and nervous first-year, but wow! Now you're all grown up, sixth-year, and just brimming with dark magic. Oh, how times have changed…"

"Sarcastic and disrespectful as usual I see." He drawled, one of his dark eyebrows arched. "Though I shouldn't say I'm surprised. You always were an insolent one." Regulus stared at me hard, impassive. "What are you doing here in the dungeon?"

Like he had authority or anything to ask me, command _me!_ He was only a sixth year, anyhow, I should have superiority and seniority here.

"Taking a stroll." I spat, smirking. "I had the urge to dawdle in a cold, dark place where only the snakes hang out. You know, I hear it's good for your skin."

"Clever." He gave me a chilling smile. "But what if the snakes bite back?"

We whipped out our wands at the same time, pointed directly at each other. Our eyes were glued, waiting for someone to send the first spell. Tension was definitely in the air.

How did I get myself into this? Eh, who cares? I could duel.

Besides, I'd wanted to kick Regulus Black's ass for a long time now, the pompous git. Ever since Sirius's family had disowned him, I'd wanted to hurt one of them up _real_ good. Sirius was too good for them, for all of his pureblood-obsessed family.

"You know, it's a shame." I said as we circled one another. "Sirius deserves better than to have you as his family. He deserves people who are actually sane."

Regulus smirked, circling like a vulture just as I was. "Pity. Seems you don't understand that Sirius is the one who isn't sane in this family. He's the one who was disobedient and didn't follow _mother dearest's_ rules, not me. I'm the good son, didn't you know?"

"Right." I scoffed, still holding up my wand at him. "And it's normal to use dark magic on a daily basis and persecute others. Riiight. I get it."

"I wouldn't expect you to." Regulus simpered at me, looking malicious beyond belief. "You're just a simple Mudblood after all. No intelligence. No wit. No magic. You're just a stupid glorified Muggle."

"Expelliarmus!" I shouted, losing my temper. Though the word 'Mudblood' didn't particularly offend me, it just annoyed me to think it gave others a superiority complex.

Wordlessly, Regulus deflected the spell. "Don't tell me that was your best shot? You are pathetic; I don't know what my brother sees in you."

I soundlessly tried to stun him multiple times, but somehow he was able to defend himself against them all. He was such a brat, an idiotic intelligent brat.

"Scared?" He asked, and sent a spell of his own over to me. I deflected it easily.

"Hardly." I replied, grinning. "Is that the best you got? I could do this all day, little snake."

"_Crucio_." Regulus muttered. And this time I couldn't defend myself.

I went down.

Falling to the floor, I spasmed in pain. Over. And over. And over again.

Professors don't accurately describe the agonizing torture of this particular Unforgivable Curse. I mean, sure it's said to cause extreme pain to the recipient, but does that even give one the simplest idea of how discomforting and torturous this curse really is?

The truth is no. No, it doesn't.

I felt as if I had been thrown into the fires of hell, stabbed by a thousand knives, ripped open by hundreds of eagles, stung by millions of bees, while forced to eat nails and sandpaper down my throat. I was thrashing, trying to escape from it but didn't know how.

Somehow my vision was still intact as I writhed, and I saw an expressionless Regulus watching me flail with pain. He was cold, so cold, as if he were a statue.

That brought me to life, or rather, it sparked an idea in my torn up mind.

Perfect. I still clutched my wand in my right hand.

_Flipendo._ I thought with the deepest recesses of my brain, focusing all my concentration on the very word. This had to work, this will work.

As if acknowledging my effort, the bright blue spell shot off from my wand and landed directly behind Regulus's figure.

"Pathetic." He sneered, still holding the curse on me. "How—"

That's when the suit of armor, all sixty pounds of solid metal, behind him fell straight on top of the cursing pureblood. He was knocked out cold, his arms and legs barely visible from underneath it.

Instantly, the Unforgivable Curse was lifted from me, and I was free.

"How smart, I know." I stared down at the Slytherin, debating whether to get help for him or not. After about ten seconds of mental debate, I decided he was best woken by himself. At least that way, no one would see his shame of being beaten by a Mudblood.

It could just be our little secret.

Smiling widely, I skipped off to my next class, glorifying in my win.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"Any luck today?" Lily asked me at dinner that night; it was just us two since the boys hadn't gotten here yet. She was currently studying for charms while stuffing a roll into her mouth at the same time. She raised an eyebrow at my confused expression to her question. "Find a date yet, Joule?"

"Oh." I quickly swallowed my pumpkin juice. "No, not today, but I'm on it, I swear. Those boys better watch out, because Joule's on the hunt. Rawr."

"Funny." Lily sipped her juice delicately just to juxtapose me. "Better hurry. The weekend's coming fast, and if you don't…"

"I know, I know." I sighed. "By the way, have you asked James yet? Wait, no…he would have been jumping for joy and singing the praises of Lily all of today. Never mind. When do you plan to do it?"

"I don't know." Lily frowned, twirling a strand of red hair around her finger. "I'm waiting until the end of the week, I suppose. I'm still considering of how to phrase it."

I grinned at her. "Tick, tock!"

The day Lily asked James Potter out would be a national Hogwarts holiday. I wouldn't be surprised if students fifty years down the road celebrated it with the same intensity as Christmas.

"Shut up, Joule."

"Turn that frown upside down, Lily!"

Lily just frowned more in response and turned back to her textbook in favor of me. Ouch.

Where was the love?

"Joule Quaid." A deep authoritative voice barked out from the entrance of the Great Hall. "We need to talk _right now_."

The voice sounded like a police captain or interrogator that I'd heard on TV. It was very commanding, and when I turned to seem whom it was, I got an eyeful of a steaming mad Sirius who strode up behind me.

"What's up?" I tried to smile, but couldn't. I hadn't seen Sirius this angry since his parents kicked him out, and not many times before that. Simply put, I could count on one hand the number of times that Sirius lost his temper like this. Surely what had happened in Potions hadn't warranted this behavior? Maybe it was my avoiding of him? But still…

"Now." Sirius growled, and his whole aura seemed to be deadly. Shakily, I got up. He'd never gotten mad at me like this before. Why now?

"Okay, don't get your panties in a twist." I rolled my eyes, trying to cover up my confusion. I silently waved bye to Lily, who gave me a puzzled look in response. "Let's talk."

Sirius grabbed my wrist in return and almost dragged me out of the Great Hall. I could practically feel him boiling underneath his skin. "Not here."

So, again…

Where was the love?


	4. What are Friends For?

Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews! So, in this chapter, there's a lot of Sirius, and when I say a lot, I mean it. So… Joule belongs to me. Nothing else. Feel free to scream, shout, whisper, holler, comment, mutter, or just say something! The freedom of speech is highly enforced here.

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'We need to talk' is never a good phrase. Especially when paired with 'now.'

It foreshadows something ominous, something you probably _really_ don't want to know or find out but the other person feels the urgent and dire need to tell you.

This is why, sometimes, you feel the urge to slap a person when they say this particular phrase.

Or tremble in terror.

Or burst into tears.

Or kick them in the shins.

Or headbutt them down a corridor and run away.

Or smile politely and then spit in their face.

Or flip them the bird.

Unfortunately to the excitement of my life, I did none of these actions when I heard the phrase spout almost monstrously from Sirius's mouth. I simply followed him out the Great Hall, wondering what the hell could have warranted this particular phrase.

Okay, I didn't really follow him. He dragged me out of the Great Hall.

I was dragged. Eugh, how lame. Pathetic. I should've at least made a scene just so some people would've gotten a laugh out of it.

Oh, well.

Sirius _dragged_ (again, really?) me into an empty classroom, slamming the door behind him. He was glaring at me quite fiercely too, as if I'd put his beloved broomstick in a wood chipper and made him watch. Then again, he probably didn't know what a wood chipper was in the first place. Guess he would find out.

"So…" I began, trying to be as nonchalant as possible while twiddling my thumbs at a breakneck pace. Sirius clearly didn't look like he was going to start the conversation from the absurd look on his face. "Something wrong?"

Yeah, that was nonchalant. Not.

"_Something wrong?_" Sirius repeated, mocking my heartfelt nonchalant-esque phrase. "Is that all you have to say? _Something wrong?"_

I coughed, flinching from the ice in his voice. Something really must be wrong with him if he was this mad. "Um, yeah. That's all I got, Sirius. What's up with you?"

He shook his head disbelievingly, his shaggy black hair swishing. His voice was still cold. "I can't believe you. You actually thought that I wouldn't find out, didn't you? You're such an idiot sometimes, Joule. Such an _idiot._"

"Okay." I was getting annoyed now, especially now that the name-calling had begun. "Just spit it out, won't you? This is getting old."

"Fine then." Sirius said, leaning against the door. "I heard a funny rumor today; actually Walden Macnair came up and practically spat it in my face. He said that earlier today my lovely little cretin of a brother, and these are his words, not mine, 'gave my Mudblood the good ole Crucio and taught her a lesson until she was squealing like a pig.' Ringing any bells?"

Ding, ding, ding! The subject I wanted most not to talk about!

"I didn't squeal like a pig." I retorted. "I was more of the 'silently writhed in pain' type."

Sirius's jaw flexed, and I could see him literally hold back his anger. His voice was deceptively calm. "So it was true, this rumor."

I gulped. "Yes."

"And this happened. My brother performed the Cruciatus Curse on you."

"Yes." I couldn't deny it.

His hands were shaking, I could see them. "And you didn't tell me this because?"

I shrugged, feeling on edge. "I handled the situation. It was dealt with; I figured little Reggie wouldn't squeal about it, but apparently not."

"Little Reggie?" Sirius spat, losing it. He strode forward towards me. "_Little Reggie _tortured you. My _brother_ tortured you. Bloody hell, Joule, he used an Unforgivable Curse on you! And you just shrug it off like its nothing?!"

"I did win the duel." I pointed out wisely, or so I thought. "I beat his little Slytherin ass good."

Sirius grabbed my shoulders, shaking me slightly. "He could have killed you, Joule, don't you realize that? He could have _killed you_. He isn't _Little Reggie anymore_. I don't even _know _him anymore! Why the bloody hell would you duel with him?"

"I don't know." I began shakily. "He kept talking and made us out to be scum, like he was better than us or something. It got on my nerves, and I wanted to wipe the smirk off of his face, that's all."

Sirius stopped shaking me, and his gray eyes softened. His fingers still clung to my shoulders, gripping them with some importance.

"Joule," Sirius said lowly. "You're worth a million of him. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. I know." I waved off the comment, stepping back from him and his embrace. Those annoying flutters in my stomach had started up again, and for the life of me, I wanted them to stop. They made me feel…nervous. Which happened to be the number one emotion I never wanted to be around Sirius.

"Joule, I'm serious." He stepped forward, trying to close the gap between us that I'd made. He looked a little anxious, which was curious; I was just glad he'd gotten over his anger already.

I smirked at him, side-stepping. "You know, there's only so many times that pun's going to work, _Sirius_. Isn't that a little first year?"

Sirius side-stepped in tandem with me, placing himself a handbreadth in front of me again. "I'm not joking, idiot." He smirked a little, tapping my nose. "For once, I'm not actually playing the Sirius card. You really are worth a million of that brat, hands down and cheeks up."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "And how many of _you_ am I worth?"

"Just one." His smirk widened.

I flicked him on the nose. "Prat. I see how it is."

Sirius caught my hand, snatching it out the air, and quickly pulled me into a tight, sudden hug. My face ended up smashed into his chest, which I couldn't help but remember felt very, very nice to touch. His mouth was against my ear, and I could feel his hot breath in long puffs.

"Just don't do that to me again." He whispered, his arms wrapped around me like vines that refused to let me go. "You can tell me stuff, you know that. Just don't go looking for trouble. Please?"

The heartfelt please at the end almost got me, almost melted me. But…not quite.

Because I'm Joule Quaid, that's what.

"You know," I said, my voice a tad muffled. "That might be hard, seeing as I hang out with trouble in the first place. He's this bloke that's quite difficult to ignore, very persistent actually. He calls himself my best friend, name starts with something like Sss…"

Sirius pulled me away from his chest and looked down at me, amused. "You know exactly how to ruin a moment, don't you? Must be a latent talent."

"And you know exactly how to pluck at someone's heartstrings, don't you?" I shot back, rolling my eyes. "It's like you think I don't know you or something; it's quite insulting actually. I know your moves, Sirius Black."

His grin grew wicked. "Not all of them, I believe, Miss Quaid." Which he then proceeded to follow up with an intense noogie to my head, grinding his fist into my scald. Oh, how it burned and scalded!

"Uncle!" I yelped and skipped away towards the door, absently checking the time. "Merlin! It's half past eight! Practice started thirty minutes ago! James is going to _kill us!_"

"Eh, I think he'll pull an exception for his two _extremely_ good friends." Sirius sauntered over to me, swinging an arm over my shoulder to slow my scurrying and bring it to an even pace. "Especially when one of them has stolen his very handy, dandy Invisibility Cloak and won't give it back until such exception is given."

"Smart." I nodded approvingly. Slowing down my pace, I sauntered along with him willingly. "Let's take our time then, shall we?"

Sirius smiled, showing his white teeth. "We shall."

-0-0-0-0-0-

James was not pleased, not pleased at all. After all, both his Beaters did neglect to show up at the appropriate time of arrival, and as a team, this was considered lacking.

So, James Potter, the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain was not happy. Especially when he found out he was being blackmailed, so we wouldn't have to fly the regulatory fifty laps for each minute of lateness.

Hehe, sorry James.

He was quite frustrated.

"Just go beat a Bludger between the two of you." He sighed dejectedly, holding his hand to his forehead at the connotations of blackmail. "Maybe it'll smash some decency into at least one of your brains. Don't be late again, or I'll hex both of you. And you're giving me the Cloak straight after practice, Sirius, and I mean straight after."

"Right-o, James-y boy." Sirius clapped him on the back wholeheartedly. "Good doing business with you, old chap."

"And we won't be late again." I added sweetly, just so I'd be the one on his good side. "We promise."

James gave us a smirk of his own. "You two are so full of shit, you know that? Shove off, the both of you. I'll see you after practice." He proceeded to fly epically off on his broomstick, flipping us the bird on his way out to managing the rest of the team's practicing.

"Well, that went well." I commented, still staring at James's retreating figure. "You think Lily talked to him today?"

"Screamed at him, more likely." Sirius said. "Though I suppose that counts as something in his book. Let's go fly; all this talk of the Head couple is making me nauseous."

"Agreed."

So, after changing into our flying gear, we took to the skies like birds of a feather. Sirius and I both loved flying like it was an addiction. Actually, that's exactly what it was.

A flying addiction.

Sirius and I were currently beating a Bludger between us (as per James's instructions) diligently, each slamming our lovely, little, stout bats into the crazy, bat-shit, enchanted ball. Essentially, it was a glorified, flying, mean-spirited basketball that took its revenge out on everyone on the field. We were the protectors of our team, the Beaters, and we took pleasure in the beatings to the ball we gave out.

Plus, we were damn-good at it too.

However, it was not flying nor beating a senseless, homicidal ball that occupied my thoughts at the moment. It was the deal that Lily and I had made. The deal in which she would ask out James and I…

Would find a date. By the end of this week.

And by Merlin, did I ever need help in this area.

"Hey, Sirius." I started innocently, contrasting highly with my loud slam of the Bludger against my bat. "I have a question."

"And I might have an answer, if I do so oblige your request." He responded, hitting the Bludger back to me with just as much force. He got extremely concentrated while playing Quidditch, so this innocent, nonchalant questioning might perhaps work. "Shoot."

"When girls..." I hesitated to choose my wording; luckily it was my turn to hit the Bludger, so it bought me some time. "Say, ask you out…how do they act exactly?"

I was going to kill myself. Metaphorically, of course, since I didn't want to die, but my dignity was shot. I could only hope Sirius thought this was a purely scientific question.

Sirius struck the Bludger squarely back. "Flirty, ditzy, clumsy, trying to be damsel-in-distress-like with their skirts hiked up and their top buttons open. It's rather quite pathetic actually, but it gets the job done…Why the sudden interest in my love life, Jou-jou?"

"Just curious." I muttered, parrying the blow with a powerful one of my own. I wished he would just drop it already; it was humiliating enough. "And shut up, Siri."

"Someone's defensive." He smirked, sending me a curveball. "Think a girl's flirting with you?"

"No!" I spat, quickly running through my mind for a possible alibi. "I was just asked by a friend to check and see if a girl was hitting on him, that's all."

"And who's this _friend_?"

"No one you know."

"I know _everyone _in this school, love. Try again."

I huffed, giving him a vicious look and a vicious Bludger in return. "Contrary to your personal opinion, it's none of your business. I told them I'd keep it a secret, idiot. Let it go."

"You know," He cocked an eyebrow, easily returning the Bludger. "I think you're too involved in this. You're reacting too much, Joule; I can read you like a book. There is no _friend,_ is there?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I was internally panicking that he'd realized my master plan of getting advice for asking someone out. "Of course, I have a friend."

I mentally pictured Lily to the fullest of my imagination. I figured if I thought about it enough, I'd believe my own lie into reality. So, yeah, Lily was wondering if a girl was hitting on her…

This situation was definitely getting out of hand.

"I smell a liar!" He sang out, hitting the Bludger repeatedly and then sobered up quickly to give me a lingering stare. "Why do you want to know how those girls act, love? Trying to get closer to me?"

My stomach started to get those obnoxious, annoying flutters again. This had to stop. They_ had _to stop.

"Everything doesn't revolve around you, Sirius!" I yelled, getting frustrated with him, with the flutters, with the lie, with the deal, and with everything. "You don't have to stick your bloody nose into everyone else's business all the bloody time! Merlin, it's like you have an addiction to drama or something, as if you don't have enough of it in your own life!"

"Tsk, tsk, Jou-jou." He waved a finger at me mockingly, while hitting the Bludger hard enough to fly into the far distance. "Now that wasn't nice, especially bringing up my family history. You're really worked up, aren't you?"

"Don't tell me how I feel!" I screeched, knowing that I was overreacting but unable to stop it. "And don't call me that idiotic nickname, you…you…"

"And now you can't come up with any nasty name to call me." He smirked, amused at my whole blow-up. "How droll."

"You're such a…" Words again failed me, but I saw my chance. The Bludger was plummeting back to me, and I swung for all I was worth. Towards the face of a smug Sirius.

Really. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

He didn't see it coming, he really didn't. One second, he was smirking at me, and the next second, the Bludger hit him square in the nose, causing a burst of blood to fly out, as well as his shout of surprise. He fell off his broom, spiraling down to earth helplessly. Sirius Black fell from his broom.

A first.

"SIRIUS!" I screamed and immediately dove after him. Wind buffeted me from all sides as I was nearly vertical on my broom in order to get to Sirius in time. From what I could see, he had been knocked out, so he wasn't even conscious as he fell. As I desperately watched his limp body continuing to fall towards earth, a stream of images flew into my head, flashbacks of every memory we'd had together.

Sirius and I going to Hogsmeade the first time.

Sirius making his first snowman with me.

Sirius and I's first Quidditch game as a team.

Sirius somehow navigating the bus system to come to my house, only to tell me how his parents kicked him out, angry and crying at the same time.

Sirius conducting an elaborate surprise party for my sixteenth birthday, involving the whole House of Gryffindor without me knowing.

Sirius teaching me a spell that I thought would do my homework for me, but instead turned my hair green for a week.

Sirius choosing me over a date with one of his girlfriends, because I was mad over my parents not acknowledging that I was a witch.

Sirius hexing every Slytherin that dared to call me a Mudblood.

Sirius and I watching the stars while avoiding James's wrath while hiding out on his own roof.

Sirius defending me against his parents when I had gone for a visit once.

Sirius and I meeting on the train, as two little lone first years…

-0-0-0-0-0-

I was sitting in a compartment towards the back of the Hogwarts Express, and I couldn't believe that this was happening. So much had happened in the past month; it wasn't even funny. I was a witch, a real witch! And I could use magic, and I was even going to a school that taught magic!

Granted, my parents didn't get it. They just allowed me to go; they weren't excited like I was. Simply put, they were confused and tried to analyze it, and then they gave up trying. So, this morning, they'd dropped me off at King's Cross with a couple hugs and drove away, leaving me to fend for myself.

It wasn't so bad. Really.

This compartment was just _so _big though. And a lot of the kids here already knew about magic; I'd seen them talking and laughing about it on the way back here to my compartment.

Okay, I was lonely and scared. But I tried my best not to show it. After all, who wants a lonely and scared-looking friend?

To pass the time, I played with my owl Newton that my parents had bought me yesterday with some puzzlement. They still didn't understand the idea of owling mail.

Chuckling at the remembrance of their expressions, I petted Newton fondly. His gray feathers tickled my fingers. He was my first magical friend so far.

The sliding of the compartment door jolted me suddenly out of my owl-induced haze.

"Hello!" A boy my age (eleven, if you were wondering) with scruffy black hair and eyes the color of Newton's feathers strode into the compartment as if he owned it. "You look lonely."

"And you look rude!" I snapped back, hugging Newton to me. "You didn't even ask if this compartment was free!"

"I assumed such," The boy plopped himself down in the seat opposite me. "Because you were alone and looking friendless."

"I do not look friendless." I muttered. I'd even been trying hard not to look friendless and confused for the past forty-five minutes, and thought I'd been doing a successful job of it.

"That's alright." The boy leaned forward, his gray eyes gleaming. "I don't have any friends either, not yet at least. I'm aiming to be friends with our whole class though, or try to be. I'm Sirius, by the way. Sirius Black."

I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously; I wasn't sure of him yet. "Joule Quaid."

"Odd name." He mused, giving me an odd look to go with my name. "I haven't heard of it before."

"Well, I haven't heard of the name Sirius before either." I said, still hugging Newton. "So you're one to talk."

"It's a constellation." He said, not looking offended at all by my comment. "My family has a tradition of naming its children after the stars."

"Well, Joule is a unit of energy, work, or heat, scientifically speaking. My parents are doctors."

"You mean Healers?"

"I mean _doctors_." I squinted some more at him. "I thought you were relatively smart."

I liked to use big words to make myself feel superior to people when I wanted to. They were a nice one-up.

"I am." He frowned at me, and then opened his mouth to say something else but was cut off by the opening of the compartment door. Two tall blondes, one girl and one guy, stood in the doorway ominously, and my gut instinctively told me that this would be a life-changing moment.

"Hello, cousin." The girl softly drawled out, her long blonde hair flowing over her shoulders like a waterfall. "Long time, no see, at least since the last family dinner. Eager to get sorted into Slytherin finally?"

"Perhaps." Sirius answered vaguely, his demeanor turning coldly polite and more mature than an eleven year-old should ever be. "I'm keeping my options open actually."

"For what?" The older boy finally chimed into the conversation. His blonde hair was long too, at least for a boy; it was to his shoulders, but he had a naturally cruel expression on his face. "Whimpering Hufflepuff or Smartass Ravenclaw? Don't tell me you're even considering those dimwit lions either; you might as well blow yourself off the face of the family tree. Slytherin is the only noble House left in this school."

Sirius merely raised an eyebrow at the lecture, and opened his mouth yet again to be interrupted, this time by the older girl.

"Now, now, Lucius," She patted his chest affectionately in a way that I deduced that they were a couple. "Give little Sirius a break; a little curiosity is natural. By the way," She said, her icy eyes fixating onto me. "Who's your new friend? You haven't introduced her to us yet."

"Oh." Sirius stared boldly up to them. "This is Joule, Joule Quaid. She's a first year like me."

It was like he was provoking them or something; I couldn't tell. But then again, I could barely follow the conversation they were having in the first place; the only things that I knew about the magical world were from a general book called _Hogwarts: A History_.

"Quaid?" Lucius scowled distastefully. "I don't recognize that surname. Narcissa, have you encountered it before?"

"Not that I know of." She replied, still looking at me coolly. "Was your father a Muggle, little girl?"

For some reason, being called a little girl by her (who looked no more than 16!) got on my nerves. What right did she have to call me a little girl?!

"Yes, he is." I held my head up high, throwing caution into the wind. Hell, I was still magical even if my parents weren't! "Both of my parents are, actually, but I'm a witch."

Tension crackled in the air as if I'd just dropped a bomb.

"You're hanging around with a _Mudblood, _Sirius?" Lucius hissed. "You're getting on the wrong track very fast, young man. If I were you, I'd switch compartments before Cissa and I write home to your parents. If only they knew what you've-"

"Don't call her that!" Sirius yelled suddenly, as if he had made an important decision. "And don't talk about her like that either. She's nicer than both of you, and she's my first friend of my own choosing, and there's nothing that you can do about it! Shove off!"

"Wait until your mother hears about this." Lucius threatened. "She'll disown you, Black."

Sirius gave him a dead serious look, no pun intended. "Then you better start writing, shouldn't you, Malfoy?"

Huffing, Lucius turned away and almost dragged Narcissa with him. She had a curious expression on when we were talking about blood purity that I couldn't describe. Nevertheless, the conversation had left me slightly shaking.

"You didn't have to defend me, you know." I said quietly. Newton was still firmly in my grasp, and I wasn't even close to letting him go. The Wizarding World suddenly seemed like a scary place.

"What are friends for?" Sirius smiled lightly back to me, shrugging his shoulders. It was in that moment that I decided that he was worthy of being my friend.

"Shake on it?" I extended my hand to him. "On being friends?"

Grinning, he nodded. "But you have to spit in your hand first and then shake; that's how the professionals do it."

Spitting and then shaking, the friendship of Sirius and Joule was born, and all was right in the world.

We were friends. Officially.

-0-0-0-0-0-

I caught him.

And when I say that I caught him, I mean that I somehow dove underneath Sirius and positioned myself so that he fell on top of me and my broom.

Which immediately started to plummet because of the excess of weight.

I told Sirius he shouldn't have eaten those Fizzing Whizbees earlier!

We were sent hurtling towards the ground in a slightly slowed manner for only a couple seconds more to which we finally hit earth.

Hard.

We hit hard.

I was lying on top of my broom on my back, making it extremely uncomfortable. I mean, laying on wooden brooms is certainly not a hobby of mine. Plus, I had a full-sized Sirius Black on top of me, whom I hadn't realized had weighed so much until now. I couldn't move an inch.

Seriously. No more Fizzing Whizbees.

I sighed, looking to the sky as I saw James and the rest of the team as specks in the sky flying toward us. Thankfully, I wasn't suffocating, but I was hurting pretty badly.

And Sirius's head was on my chest. Awkward much? Thankfully, he was knocked out cold by the Bludger, so we could both avoid the embarrassment of this situation.

"Joule?" A groggy voice murmured from my chest.

Oh, hell.

"Joule…" Sirius's voice continued, muffled. "What am I lying on? I just remember playing Quidditch, we were talking, and then falling…" He raised his head to look up, and met my eyes.

He blinked, and then looked down, as if he couldn't stop himself.

"Asshole!" I pushed him with all my might, and ended up flipping us over by accident. Now I was on top of him, straddling his lap and bracing myself with my hands on his chest. Great. This was even worse.

Sirius blinked again and stared up at me, transfixed. I was staring down at him worriedly; the Bludger had hit his head pretty hard; maybe I'd just injured him even more by flipping him over.

Shit.

"Better not forget this." He muttered, and his eyes rolled up, and he instantly fell unconscious again. I frowned, slapping his cheek a little. No response.

Perhaps it was better to get Madam Pomfrey before I did any more damage.

But, eh, he seemed fine.

Ish.

What are friends for?


	5. Gray, Gray, Go Away

I'm back! So, you know, nothing belongs to me but Joule! Feel free to shout, scream, comment, whisper, murmur, or blurt something awkward my way. Anything at all. The freedom of speech is highly enforced. Cheers!

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

The next few days passed in a blur, most likely due to the constant, incessant fact that Sirius kept mentioning to everyone that I hit him with a Bludger to his face. This didn't earn me any brownie points for popularity, but eh, whatever. Despite the annoying joking, Sirius had forgiven me and forgotten all about the awkward conversation that had led up to it. Thank Merlin.

At least, I hope he did. He hadn't said anything to me about so far, so I think that I'm in the clear.

Unfortunately, however, it was now Friday, and I, Joule Quaid, still did not have a date.

Nope. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Nothing. No one in sight.

Therefore…

This called for desperate measures. And when I say desperate, I mean _desperate._ I needed to make this work, after all, I had to prove that I had a love life and, most importantly, I had to get Lily and James together.

I was the catalyst. This had to happen. The ball was in my court now, and I was so going to make it count.

Right? Right.

So…I was going to take Sirius's advice. Which hadn't actually been advice at the time, but a degrading comment about the floozies that hit on him. Which he had actually forgotten that he'd told me in the first place. Because I hit him with a Bludger. To his head. And made him fall out of the sky.

Oops. Mistakes happen.

That's why this morning before class, I'd taken extra steps to my imminent success. After considering Sirius's comment of 'unbuttoned blouses, short skirts, and ditzy attitudes,' I'd carefully made observations of the female gender for the past couple days, deciding to emulate them and become one of the adoring flock of flirty girls.

Baaa!

So I unbuttoned my three top buttons of my shirt with glee, rolled up my skirt with mirth, and applied a glorious hunk of shiny lip gloss to my parched, nude colored lips to attract the opposite sex to me like a herd of bewildered yet angsty wildebeest. I even curled my hair a bit, hoping to corral some more in with the extra effort.

Internally, though, I was dying. Screaming. Going insane on the inside, yelling at myself to stop doing such blasphemy.

I was so not a girly girl. Sirius, Lily, and the rest of the Marauders could attest to that; I'd perhaps worn a dress maybe a few times throughout my whole Hogwarts career. It just wasn't me.

Oh, well. This had to be done. Besides, I hadn't even gotten to the hard part yet.

So, after shooting a narcissistic glance at myself in the mirror, I sashayed down the dorm staircase, trying to pump myself up with the swing in my hips while refusing to associate myself to the motions of a rocking horse.

Swish, swish.

I was confident.

Swish, swish.

I was cool.

Swish, swish.

I was seductive.

Swish… I stopped on the last step, bursting into laughter. This internal mind rant had to stop, otherwise I'd lose it before I even got to breakfast. Everyone would see through me then.

"Okay." I whispered to myself, putting on my game face. "I got this. This can't be that hard."

Famous last words.

So, after a couple more pausings in the corridor, I finally entered the Great Hall to dine with my lovely friends, who, as great and fantastic and caringly sensitive as they were, would _not _ mention my change in appearance the very slightly.

I strode in, storming the school, and swung my hips like no tomorrow. Okay, I wasn't that obtuse about it, but still…

"Bloody hell!" Sirius spit out his pumpkin juice onto Peter whose frightened expression didn't change at the sight of me. James and Remus had similar frozen expressions, and Lily merely tried to hide a grin at my get-up, knowing my intentions instantly. "What in Merlin's name are you doing?!"

Grimacing as I was forced to sit next to him and his interrogation, I decided to play dumb, seeing as I felt almost too embarrassed in the first place. "What are you talking about?"

Sirius's mouth gaped, making him like a big, fat fish. Yes, that's what he was. And I was a sleek, fast minnow, sliding through the waters of…Hogwarts. Okay, my internal pep-talks needed some work.

"What am I talking about?" He raised his voice incredulously, and then quieted suddenly, narrowing his sharp, gray eyes at me. He was observing me, analyzing me, his eyes darting all over me uncomfortably.

Shit, I shouldn't have played dumb. Now that he realized he was getting worked up, he'd stop and try to draw me out with sarcasm to find out my true intentions. Sirius didn't like to be emotionally out of control, and therefore used sarcasm with the force of blunt truth to hide with.

Shit, shit, shit!

"So…" He drawled, wiggling his eyebrows. "Who's the special bloke, Jou-jou? _Who_ are _you_ trying to draw into your beehive? You don't dress like this quite often for no reason, you know. Actually, I'm quite offended you didn't tell me; I thought we were best mates."

See? See? I knew him too well.

Thankfully, however, I knew how to combat this attack.

"My beehive?" I gave him a simpering smile. "I think your terms need some updating, Siri, I thought you were a pro at this lingo, especially after all the…_companions_ you've had."

Oh, yes, my smile was _very _simpering.

He raised an eyebrow up at my parry; he knew what I was doing. "Dodging the question, love? Evasiveness doesn't suit you."

"Oh." I attempted to look my most mockingly confused. "Was there a competent question to be answered? I must have missed it. How odd."

Sirius's façade broke just a tad to reveal his…annoyance? "Who's the bloke?"

"And once again, I'm not hearing a competent question." I sighed, shaking my head. "I simply got up this morning in a good mood, decided to dress up a bit today, and here I am. I'm not seeing how our topics relate."

The other three Marauders snickered as they ate their breakfasts, tuning into our conversation only for amusement. Lily, as I could see, was now struggling with the issue of not laughing outright at my snarky comebacks. At least, I think she was. I knew for sure she was eating a waffle, though.

Yum. Waffles.

"You look whorish. Cut the crap." Sirius bluntly said, looking me in the eye as the mood of our banter rolled downhill into a sudden stop. "If I were you, I'd probably go change."

It was like a slap to the face. So unexpected, so unseen, that I merely stared at him, eyes wide. Our table went silent, or at least, our area did. Tension snapped in the air like a whip.

Now I was the gaping fish. Damn. No one wanted to be the gaping, fat fish.

"I-I don't care about your opinion, idiot." I closed my mouth to cease the gaping, thankful that I realized it soon enough. What right did he have to call me _whorish?_

"Really?" He looked innocently vicious now, a very difficult combination to pull off. "Because I don't quite believe your s-stutter."

He was on the defensive; I'd realized it by now. Somehow I'd offended him by not telling him the truth of my transformation, and he was on the backlash. This was even shittier. An angry Sirius was someone that you did NOT want on your bad side. Apparently this outfit was not winning me any fans today.

"Look," I tried to smooth things over, attempting a peace talk. "I just decided to dress this way just for kicks today. There's nothing more to it."

"And somehow I still don't believe you." He simpered, practically sniffed at me haughtily. "Looks like Jou-jou's hiding a secret lover."

"Okay, seriously?" I glared at him, ignoring the attention we were gaining at the Gryffindor table. "Of anyone at this table, am I really the most likely one to have a secret lover? Oh, wait, I think that'd actually be you, Siri. Can you _even_ count the number of girlfriends you've had in the past year?"

"Jealousy doesn't suit you well either, love." He smirked cruelly; his famous condescending smirk he usually reserved for the bottom-of-the-barrel Slytherins was now directed at me. And it hurt. "If you have something to tell me, spit it out. I can't let these secret feelings of love you have for me go unspoken. Go on, I won't turn you down too hard."

It was in that moment that my temper flared, and I wanted to legitimately hurt Sirius. More than a slight, joking jab, more than the Bludger, more than anything before. I wanted him to feel pain.

Badly.

And I knew _exactly_ how to hurt him.

I quickly schooled my face for my attack. I was ready.

"Funny." I dryly remarked. "That sounds like something your brother would say. And to think that I thought for a second you were anything different from _them._ How droll."

And with a glance at a stricken face, I walked away from the breakfast table, away from Lily's calls, and away from Sirius's blank, while at the same time, fearful face.

It was a low blow, and I knew it. Sirius's deepest, most dreaded fear was turning into one of his prejudiced, ruthless, elitist members of his family, and I'd used it against him. My stomach felt queasy at the thought, but my feet refused to stop moving.

Indeed, I was powerless to the whims of my feet. I walked straight away from my friends to where? Why, of course, the Ravenclaw table!

Confused? Don't be.

Okay, you can be, since I was confused at first too. But a second later, my brain figured out the rest.

I walked straight to the one empty seat besides Leo Carmichael, plopping myself awkwardly without any of the infamous hip-swaying next to his bemused face. Okay, it was more of a confused face, but I'm being optimistic.

"Hi." I said, trying to smile my hardest against the massive amount of guilt that was growing in my abdomen. "Sorry I was weird the other day in Potions with all that odd yelling and such, but I was hoping that we could get past that (Water off a duck's back, you know?) and maybe go to Hogsmeade together on Sunday? Promise I'm relatively sane."

It had all come spilling out like a waterfall, like waste material coming out of a sewer drain with no sign of stopping. Oh, Merlin, what did I just do?

I just asked Leo Carmichael out because I was so mad at Sirius. That's what I just did.

Shiiiiit.

Fester, fester, rot, rot… That's how I felt. And now all I could do was wait helplessly for Leo's response, hoping paradoxically that he would say yes and no while my stomach felt increasingly sicker.

This was not a good day. I'd hurt Sirius. Merlin, what was I thinking? How could I have let my temper get to me? How could I have insinuated that he was no better than Regulus?

I was such a moron. I couldn't even stay angry enough at him to justify myself. And now here I was, watching Leo's face for any sign of rejection or acceptance when all I wanted to do was go back and apologize to Sirius while telling him how stupid he was.

"Okay." Leo said, a smile forming on his adorable face. "I'll give you another chance. That sounds cool; it's a date."

_It's a date._

Oh. My. Merlin.

I just got a date for Hogsmeade.

I just held up my end of the deal.

I had a love life.

Lily and James now had to speak to each other.

I did it.

And I felt sick to my stomach the whole time too. Super. I suppose that's karma for you. I can't win it all.

"Great." I was acutely aware that I was trying not to grimace. "I can't wait. Meet you at 10?"

"Deal." Leo's brown eyes sparkled back at me, causing me to question for some reason what I had just done. A strangle niggling feeling told me that I wished those eyes had been another color, but I wasn't quite sure which… "I'll see you then, Joule."

I gave a shaky smile, waved, and departed the table, heading back briefly to my rightful table. Sirius apparently had left, probably stormed off more likely, as had James to probably calm him down. I sat back down to face a worried-looking Lily.

"Are you okay?" She whispered to me so that Remus and Peter couldn't hear us.

"I did it." I murmured back, my mind still whirling from the past five minutes of action. "It's on, Lils. I got a date."

Her grass green eyes widened, and she cursed underneath her breath. "Damn you, Joule, and congrats. Now I have to go find Potter before it's too late, bloody hell."

Chuckling, I leaned over to put a pancake on my plate when my eye caught on an odd-looking stone bowl that housed the oatmeal. It reminded me of something… Something familiar…

Gray.

That's the color I wish his eyes would have been.


	6. A Date, A Bed, and A Roll

Joule belongs to me! Nothing else! So thanks for the reviews so far, guys; they're really encouraging. Feel free to whisper, shout, scream, mutter, murmur, yell, holler, snicker, or just comment on anything you find interesting, odd, strange, horrible, lovely, or weird. The freedom of speech is highly enforced. Thanks and enjoy!

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It was ten.

Ten o'clock in the morning precisely. And I was waiting by the gate to Hogsmeade patiently. In a regular-clothed Joule-approved sweater and jeans set. Jittering beyond belief.

Merlin, help me.

It was my date with Leo. Leo Carmichael, in case you happened to forget, and in any case, I wasn't forgetting anything. I was just trying to appear nonchalant.

I mean, who wants to be seen as the stumbly, jittery, awkward, odd fool that you really are? Seriously? We all want to look cool, calm, and collected, nothing but the epitome of epic.

Smooth. Serious. Intense.

Unfortunately for me, that resulted in me bouncing nondiscreetly on my toes, gnawing my lip, and twiddling my thumbs. Wildly. I didn't know how to feel.

Nervousness for the date.

Guilt for what I did to Sirius.

Anxiety about what I'd say and not come across as insane. Again.

Super guilt-tripping for Sirius.

Worried if Leo turned out to be a total jerk.

Guilt for a particular Black again…

Oh, and did I mention excitement for LILY AND JAMES'S DATE?

No, I guess not. Sorry, that was a little much, but this day really should be commemorated for their first real forced and hopefully natural interaction that will turn out to be the beginning for so much more due to a certain epic and brilliant mutual friend.

Yes, I know. So humble, please hold the applause, etc, etc.

After I'd cheerfully (not really) announced to Lily that our deal had been completed on my side, she had reluctantly (spontaneously) raced after James to mutter probably the most nonchalant (gritted out of her teeth) invitation for an exclusive day at Hogsmeade with him, most commonly known as a 'date.' Apparently, he'd been floored, drooled a little, and after a couple lovestruck looks, had accepted Lily's offer with a glee unknown to Wizarding kind.

I really can't report for sure; I had to obtain all this information from Lily firsthand, since she'd made the offer in an unobtrusive corner in the Gryffindor so no one else could witness the momentous event. Oh, but everyone had heard about it later…via James's screams of joy of the Astronomy Tower.

He's subtle, that one.

Anyways…Sirius was still mad at me. Okay, it's been one day since our argument.

One day.

But it feels like eternity. Cliché. I know. I'm sick of them too. They're like a disease that you can't help but catch.

But the fact was that we've never really fought with one another; we've just annoyed each other sometimes to disbelief, but we got over it relatively quickly. But it's been a whole 24 hours, and we haven't spoken.

He's currently giving me the cold shoulder, a particular technique that I've noticed he uses for when he's angry beyond belief, courtesy of years of experience. Normally, ordinary anger requires only verbal mockery and slight snubbing, but full-out, intense, simmering Sirius anger brings the temperature of a room down several degrees. It makes everyone in the vicinity uncomfortable.

Even me, his own pod person, was uncomfortable. I wanted it to be over, but my pride wouldn't allow it, seeing as I'd have to explain the whole situation to him.

So I might as well get this date over with.

Which leads me back the beginning.

Waiting for Leo. It was 10:07 AM now. He was late, Leo was, and I was personally starting to get annoyed. I'd dissed Sirius for a tardy bum; how idiotic was I? Sirius and I would've been halfway to Zonko's by now.

I cursed myself internally for being so comparative. Leo wasn't Sirius. Leo was…

Leo.

Was it silly to realize just now that his first name was only three letters long? Three letters? Seriously, three letters defining your very existence? How…sad.

I, personally, needed at least a healthy five, as could James, Remus, and Peter. Lily could somehow make it work with four. Sirius, of course, was high maintenance and demanded an extravagant six. But three…

Three was so small. So simple. I could only hope that Leo knew what to do with them.

"I am _so_ sorry."

Startled, I looked up from where I'd been kicking a pile of innocent pebbles pensively to face an out of breath Leo, looking very harried and puffing every other second. Plus, Leo appeared disheveled and partly crazed, a side I'd never seen of him before.

Opportunities…

"What?" I waved my hand nonchalantly (not really). "No, you're fine. I've only been here a few minutes anyways."

Seven minutes to be exact. Seven minutes stuck in my head wondering why exactly I'm here. Trying to justify my decisions to myself; it's very tiring, actually.

Ah, contradicting thoughts and actions. How fun.

"No, it's not." Leo's big brown eyes got wide. "I'm really so sorry, Quidditch practice went over and Coach wouldn't let us go until we got this one maneuver right, and-"

"Wait." I held up my hand, stopping him from saying anymore. "Maneuver? Quidditch? Please tell me more."

Quidditch I could deal with. I knew how to talk about that sport, alright.

I suppose my intense passion was somehow apparent in my expression, because Leo's face immediately broke into a big smile, realizing he was in the clear due to a certain sport being his alibi. Good for him; somehow he came out of this depressingly-moody-Joule-funk scot-free.

"Well," he smiled brightly, his blonde hair mimicking a miniature sun atop his noggin. "I suppose I can tell you what we've been working on lately, although I'm not really supposed to divulge any secrets to anyone outside the team."

Cue the teasing, shifty look from Ravenclaw #1.

Oh, please…

"Tell me everything." I insisted, linking arms with him, and I felt a certain camaraderie sprout between us mixed with…something else. Something I couldn't define. Deception, perhaps?

Oh, well. It was inconsequential.

So, there we went, off into the distance of Hogsmeade to have our official date.

How…quaint.

I vowed that I would make no more comparisons in my head, and that I'd remain optimistic. After all, I needed to give Leo a chance.

Everyone deserved a chance, right?

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I was wrong.

So. Absolutely. Wrong.

Leo's chance was slowly dwindling into a shriveled sprig of an opportunity; something I realized as we sat in Madame Puddifoot's for the third straight hour, still discussing Quidditch tactics as well as history.

Seriously. Three hours. Nonstop.

You tell me how long you can discuss the effects of a Chaser's tailwind until the Snitch's untimely capture during hurricane-like weather.

Welcome to my life.

I considered faking a phone call to get out of the most boring date in the world when I remembered that I was in the Wizarding World and that cell phones didn't exist. Okay, they did, but not that many wizards and witches used them. And I didn't have one at this second.

Of course, I didn't. Why would I have a logical item on me?

Why wouldn't I have considered an exit strategy SOS to Lily via phone?

Because I was an idiot. And an optimist. And because electronics couldn't work in Hogwarts.

Why?

Granted, I loved Quidditch, but it was supposed to be a starter conversation topic, not the topic of the never-ending date. I thought pensively for a second that the next time I'd hear him say 'Quaffle,' I'd fake a stomach ache to escape but…

Actually, there was no but…that was my plan. An actual, desperate, horrible plan.

Merlin, I was one of _those _people now. Bailing on the first date, how sad.

The only plus side to this date so far was that I now knew every Ravenclaw strategy to Quidditch ever known possible. All those secrets acquired over the years by those wise eagles…gone. Leo had divulged beyond belief.

Le gasp. Turns out maybe those 'Claws aren't so wise, are they?

But, anyways….back to the present.

"So then basically," Leo gestured wildly, innocently oblivious to my infinite expression of indifference or just plain rude, "Every time a goal is made by the Chasers, the follow-up whistle, as well as wind from the impact of the Quaffle—"

Bam. Buzzword. Bail time.

"Ugh." I feigned a hopefully repulsive, pained look, making sure to furrow my brows deeply. "Uh, Leo, I actually don't feel too well right now. My stomach didn't really like those, um, crumpets we had earlier, so I'll just—"

I didn't even get to finish my lame excuse.

Bugger.

"Oh, sure!" Leo's eyes widened in a concerned manner, making me hate their brown depths for deceiving me. "No, feel free to use the loo; I didn't mean to talk so long." He looked to me in a confiding manner. "My mum keeps saying that I talk so much that I wouldn't even notice if a car drove right into me, but I keep telling her that—"

My turn.

"Heh." I sputtered. "But really, I need to go—"

"No, it's fine—"

"Well, I'll just be—"

"I'll be waiting right here for you, no rush."

I stared at him stupidly, wondering how many times he'd been dropped on his head as a baby. Could I not even finish a complete thought with this guy? How did I not notice this aspect before?

Merlin. I needed better people-judging skills. ASAP.

Already, he was sipping at his petite, idiotic, pink teacup of French Kiss, waiting for me to get up and relieve myself. How annoying…

Without a word but perhaps a regretful smirk, I bounced out of that booth and headed directly towards the heart/cupid/love-covered entrance of Madame Puddifoot's, only glancing once behind me to check if Leo so happened to see where I was going.

Nope. He was still tasting from the strange blend of obnoxious tea that we'd been coerced into buying. Oh yeah, and as for the bill…

I'd pay him back. Someday. Hmm, or better yet, maybe my patience of listening to him yabber on for three hours would be payment enough.

Option, options, options…

So I left, simply strode out the front door of the establishment with a mere puzzled look from the hostess but nothing else. He didn't even notice I was gone.

Amazing.

Date-free, considering it the way to be, I skipped throughout Hogsmeade all by my lonesome (Okay, so I didn't skip, but I had a jaunt in my step, okay?). After a few minutes of sightseeing (more like people-watching) and window-shopping, I considered my next plan of attack, seeing as the rest of my day was now plan-free.

Objective #1: Apologize to Sirius.

It'd been bugging me all day. The need to apologize was killing me, and I needed the perfect plan of attack to carry it out.

Yes, everything was now a military maneuver.

First stop: supplies for a peace offering.

So, after a trip to Zonko's and the obtainment of several packs of Fizzing Whizbees as well as Fanged Frisbees, I now had the objective of locating my suspect to put into my custody.

I'd already peered into The Three Broomsticks, Zonko's, Puddifoot's (obviously), so I scoped out all of Hogsmeade to hunt my elusive best friend down, using all of my resources of inductive and deductive reasoning. Trust me, I was a real Sherlock Holmes, but Sirius was literally nowhere to be found.

Literally. No. Where.

This boy was too sneaky for his own good, and a niggling thought in my mind wondered if he'd stolen James's Invisibility Cloak to hide away in a corner somewhere.

Nah…

Alas, after much consideration and confusion, I figured he'd skipped Hogsmeade all together and was simply moping in bed just to be as un-Sirius-like as humanly possible in order to throw everyone off his trail. Not that I knew why he was covering his trail in the first place…but what did I know?

So that's why I was standing at the top of the staircase to the Gryffindor 7th years' boys' dormitory, hand poised on the doorknob, ready for action.

Okay, so I was also reveling that I wasn't sent reeling down the slippery staircase too, but that's moot point. Moot as in a pair of goose moose shoes. Try saying that ten times fast.

Moot point.

I turned the knob and entered the lair.

Now, as frightening as the boys' dormitory might be to some, it wasn't all that bad. Sure, there were socks, underwear, and everything flung everywhere, but it was homey. Kind of in an adorable hobo-like manner. Like a puppy found in a dumpster. Just like that.

Besides the messy appearance, the observation that struck me as most important was the bundled lump on one of the four-poster beds, curtains clearly open and forgotten to be closed. The pile of messy robes on the floor around it verified it as Sirius Orion Black's official bed.

Bingo.

I cleared my throat to start the conversation, as well as to alert him that there was a stranger in his bedroom watching him sleep or whatever he was doing underneath the covers. It seemed polite.

"Go away, Remus." A voice groaned from the red and gold blanketed abyss. "I didn't need your sodding advice yesterday, and I don't need your sodding advice now. Bugger off."

"Ahem." I slightly coughed again, making sure to make it more feminine. "I'm not Remus."

Sirius's head shot out of the covers at record speed, leaving me to witness a bedhead, rumpled, and slightly bewildered Sirius Black. Instantly, though, the game face was on, and he was warily raking his gaze over me.

"Oh." He said monotone. "Look who it is."

I scratched my nose.

I didn't know how to do this major fight apology stuff! Gah! Could anyone loan me a Book for Dummies?

"Hi." I said, wishing for my instruction manual. I didn't know what else to say. Or how to start, no less.

Sirius merely raised an elegant Black eyebrow at me, his face still blank. Oh, I was going to get any help from him alright. He was going to make me spit this out all by myself like a big girl.

Yay.

"So…" I started. "I was stupid."

Again, I received an Oscar-award-winning look of complete indifference and irritation from the boy on the bed while I stood awkwardly clutching for words in the doorway.

Time to start for real now.

"Look, I know I was stupid. I said and did some stupid things yesterday that I didn't mean, and that was even stupider." I blathered, probably looking like a fish to get it out. "But the stupidest thing that I did was comparing you to your family, and I know that that was wrong and that it's completely not true, but I said it anyway, and I'm really sorry and I just wanted to apologize since the moment I said it and it's practically been the only thing I've been thinking about all day seeing as my date was boring and stupid as shit, but I'm manning up to you now to say it."

I took a deep breath. "So, yeah. Sorry."

An amused twitch of Sirius's lips alerted me to the fact that I was forgiven. "Just exactly how long did you prepare to give me that speech, Jou-jou?"

I shook my head. "None. It was more of a stream of consciousness than anything. Anything pre-made probably would've been forgotten in the first ten seconds."

"Understandable." He snorted, trying to smooth his black hair with one hand.

"Yeah…" An awkward silence descended, which I immediately wanted to break. "So can we be friends again?"

My voice came out all wrong. The confident, joking tone had somehow morphed into a tinny, uncertain almost whisper. How embarrassing. Darn you vocal chords, darn you!

"Joule," Sirius's gray eyes softened at the sight of me. "We never stop being friends, not even when we fight, love. Nothing breaks us."

"I know that." I tried for my confident voice again. "It's just that this time was different. I didn't know what to expect, much less how to act. This wasn't like the time when you put toothpaste in my hairbrush or anything. It was different."

And it had been different, more intense somehow. I wanted him to get the importance, the severity of what I was saying.

"I know, and I wish it wasn't." Sirius said, grimacing. "C'mere, you idiot."

Mindlessly from all the tension in the room, I ran and threw myself into a running jump, catapulting me straight onto a surprised Sirius. Really, he shouldn't be surprised after this long.

Then again, maybe this wasn't such a good idea in the first place.

Both of us grunted, our limbs jumbled together from my odd leap, and suddenly after breathing in a little bit of my own hair, I found myself smack dab on top of Sirius, straddling him in fact. I gazed down at him to see his own crystal clear face just a few inches below mine. So close.

So close I could see the stubble on his chin. So close I could count his eyelashes. So close I could see his gray eyes dilating wider and wider that I could see a small reflection of myself inside of them.

"Oops." I whispered, still staring down at him and currently unable to deal with the unnamable feeling that fluttered in my stomach stronger than ever. It wouldn't let me budge an inch off of him. It seemed to like the feeling of our bodies pressed against one another.

Hm.

Sirius brushed a piece of hair that had fallen into my eyes back behind my ear. "Jou-jou, you know, sometimes you really are an idiot."

I squinted at him. "Excuse me?"

"Jumping on me? Seriously? You know, if you wanted to get in my pants that desperately, you could've asked."

I shot him a red-hot glare. "You sure know how to ruin a moment, Siri. And by the way, your pervy comments are getting old."

"I'm not the one who just launched themselves at me, which says the contrary to both of those accusations." He smirked, looking very smug. "Now can we please rise to vertical positions?"

"Nope." I said cheerfully, laying my head on his chest. "I'm going to listen to your heart beat for the next five minutes just because of that comment."

And listen I did. It was a rhythmic thump-thump that resounded through his entire warm chest, making me very aware that Sirius Black was alive and well. Although it was starting to pick up tempo…

"Joule, really." Sirius shifted underneath me uncomfortably. "As much as I aspire to understand your odd tendencies, love, I'd very much like it if you'd kindly get off."

"Nope."

"_Joule_."

"No sir."

"_Jou-jou."_

"No."

"I'm not a horse, love. You can't just get on whenever the mood strikes you."

"Wow, that was unintentionally dirty. And no."

Sirius was warm, comfy, and smelled very agreeable to my nostrils. I didn't want to get off of him, nor did the tingles that raced all over me. Besides, I was tired after all the fake nodding I had to do with Leo.

Sighing, Sirius seemed to accept his fate as a body pillow for the time being, forgetting his defensive act entirely. "You're ridiculous, you know that?" He said to me in a quieter tone.

"I try." I replied, still planted on him.

"So…" He tilted his head so that his breath tickled my ear. "Why was your date complete shit? It was Carmichael, yeah? What'd he do?"

"He didn't _do_ anything." I muttered, rolling my eyes. "Just talked too bloody much and acted like I was his audience or something. He wasn't what I expected."

"He's a prat. I could've told you that."

"Well, we weren't exactly on speaking terms, were we?"

Sirius hummed underneath his breath. "And you never explained that outfit you wore, did you?"

Merlin, not _that_ again.

I sighed wearily. "It was a mistake. Let's just forget it. Actually, let's just erase it from our minds. I'll Obliviate you, and you Obliviate me."

"Oh, no, no, no." Sirius chuckled, and his arms snaked around my waist, chaining us together. "You're not leaving this time, no excuses. Tell me why you came down to breakfast dressed like…that."

"Just say it. Floozy. I dressed like a floozy. I looked like a slutty fairy sheep girl."

"Jou-jou, love, I'm waiting." Sirius drawled. "Stop stalling and get on with it."

Dun, dun, dun, dunnn…

"Well…" I tried to arrange my thoughts into logical order. "You know how Lily and James are on a date right now? And how that it was _Lily _that asked him out and not vice versa for once?"

"Yeah…" Sirius peered down at me curiously. "And?"

"Didn't you find that very _strange?_"

"I _suppose_…" He murmured. "But how does this relate to your sudden makeover the other day? I don't quite see the connection."

I gave a sheepish smile against his chest. "Well, I might've made a deal with Lily that if I got a date for the weekend, she'd have to ask out James to Hogsmeade. That would be a…connection, wouldn't it?"

Sirius was silent for a second, so I craned my head up to see his expression.

"You little minx." He smirked down at me, and his hands tightened around my waist. "You used Carmichael just to get Lily and James together; you were playing him the whole time. Aren't you the tricky one?"

"I was feeling optimistic." I countered back. "I didn't completely just go into it blind; Leo, for all I knew, was a pretty decent guy."

"_For all you knew_." Sirius mimicked. "For all you knew, he could've been a pedophile, and you wouldn't have known it. He could've been a total pervert, and you wouldn't have had the slightest clue."

I raised my head off of Sirius's chest to look him straight in his deep gray eyes. "I think I have better taste in men than that, thank you very much."

Sirius's lips twitched slowly until they spread into a full grin, looking straight up at me. His eyes glittered, and I knew that his ticking time bomb of a mind was up to something devious.

A blink and a snicker later, we had flipped over, and Sirius was on top of me, pressing our bodies together even tighter than they'd been before, his weight pushing down on me. Above me, his dark eyes bored into me.

"Perhaps." His grin was still apparent, showing very white teeth. "After all, you are friends with me, love, and I consider myself in _very _good taste."

Oh, game on. I wasn't going to be intimidated by him. Even if the flutters in my stomach were intensifying by the dozen.

"_Really_?" I arched a brow for dramatic effect. "I'm not too sure of that opinion; some people might consider you to be in very _bad _taste. You're a bad influence anyway, or so says Professor McGonagall."

"Mmmm." He hummed lowly. "I don't think Minnie knows me as well as you do." Sirius was slowly lowering his face closer to mine, and that was the moment that I started to panic. His face, his eyes, his nose, his lips were coming within inches, within centimeters of my own. His shaggy hair was already a curtain around us, and everything was coming into focus extremely fast.

Too fast.

It wasn't a game anymore.

That was when my own instincts overruled my flutters.

I couldn't handle them, my emotions. I couldn't…deal with them.

I couldn't let Sirius and I cross that line.

"Let's," I whispered as Sirius's nose brushed mine and his lips were breathing little puffs into mine. "Go to Hogsmeade. Can't spend the whole day here, yeah?"

Sirius froze, his gaze brushing over me for some clarity, and I saw his Adam's apple move as he swallowed.

"Yeah." His voice sounded hoarse, his body scooting back away from mine like I was covered in kryptonite. "Sure. Let me go get dressed, and we'll head out."

And just like that, his weight and presence were lifted off me and gone, and I could finally breathe. The only thing was that I wasn't certain if that was a good thing or not.

Merlin. What was happening?

I sure didn't know.


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